A look into my (in)sanity: a twitter poem
A Look into my (in)sanity:
a poem poured from thought written in 140 characters or less (per verse via twitter.com/phinguyen)
responses/replies have been omitted between verses
i dont thinq i'm bipolar nor do i thinq i'm a schizo... well maybe i am... or not.. umm... i could be...
does self diagnosis of bipolarity and schizophrenia count when u ask yourself for a 2nd opinion and u have an opposite reaction of the 1st?
does self diagnosis of bipolarity and schizophrenia count when u sit there alone in the dark in the corner arguing with yourself about it?
does self diagnosis of bipolarity & schizophrenia count when ur reflection in the mirror start to freak u out after the 3rd hour of staring?
have you ever done that? sit in front of the mirror staring into your own eyes for so long that your reflection scares the shxt out of u
one time i swear the mirror lagged a little, where i literally saw myself blink a second after i blinked
i've always had a problem looking people in the eyes, even myself in the mirror. one day i decided to make it a routine to take that head on
it drives me insane after the first 30minutes and you start to freak out, not seeing yourself or the mirror itself anymore
have you ever been jus taking a shower and suddenly you black out from what feels like what an aneurysm could be? its kind of daily for me...
i'll stare and stare, freak out, calm down, freak out, calm down. from broad daylight til when i can just see my shadow.
it freaks me out more and more all the time. it never gets old. some of the scariest shxt i've seen was in the eyes of my own reflection.
you get so demented that when you're done and you walk around the house, you expect to see your arms and legs reflected and backwards
when you're in that vertigo of slowly coming back to your senses of not expecting the reflection, you want to go crazy for no fxcking reason
mental medication seems like a chemical solution for an issue that is non-chemical. like using two pieces of glass to make fire.
this is exactly why i dont ever "share" or "express" because when i'm truthful with what i think it changes everyone's views
the masks i wear are what i want people to generally take me as
revealing a hint of my real current persona through alphanumeric architecture depresses me because it confirms judgement for some or shock 1
i would much rather be looked at as my masterpiece illusion than what my inner monologue describes as my current truth
alas we all live in the same instance & in order to maintain normality the smoke and mirrors are consistently shifted to create my illusion